HOW EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT ARE YOU?
We all know people who are in full control of their emotions. They are calm in a crisis and they make decisions sensitively, however stressful the situation.
We also know people who can read the emotions of others. They understand what to say to make people feel better and they know how to inspire them to take action.
People like this have emotionally intelligent. They have strong relationships and they manage difficult situation calmly and effectively. They are also likely to be resilient in the face of adversity.
How emotionally intelligent are you, and how can you develop further?
You know emotionally intelligent has characteristics. Psychologist Daniel Goleman identified five elements that make up emotional intelligence. These are:
- Self – awareness;
- Self – regulation;
- Social Skills.
1. Self- AwarenessIn his 1996 book “Emotionally Intelligent: Why it can Matter More Than IQ”, Goleman explained that people with high self –awareness are “aware of their moods as they are having them”.
To increase self-awareness, learn about mindfulness. This involves focusing on the present moment – including how your are feeling. And keep a journal in which you write about and analyze the emotional situations you experience from day to day.
You also need to understand your strengths and weaknesses to build self-awareness. Do a personal SWOT analysis and ask for feedback from your boss, friends and trusted colleagues to find out how you can improve further.
<<< See more >>> 5 simple signs you have high emotional intelligence
2. Self - RegulationSelf-regulation is about staying in control. To develop your skills in this area, learn how to manage your emotions (emotionally intelligent) effectively.
If you often get angry, note what triggers this felling and think about why this happens. Use techniques such as deep breathing to calm yourself down, and give yourself time to pause before you respond to emails or requests, so that you do not say something that you will later regret.
You may also be affected by other negative feeling and emotions, such as anxiety and stress. Do what you can to manage these feelings effectively.
Accountability is another important element of self-regulation. Take responsibility for your actions and behaviors and make sure that these align with your values.
3. MotivationSelf-motivation is strongly affected by your emotions, you may find it hard to see tasks through.
Boost your motivation levels by developing self-discipline and by looking for and celebrating small wins – simple jobs that, when you have completed them, give you a sense of achievement.
Also, set yourself longer-term goals. When you decide what you want to achieve, you will focus on what really matters to you. This can be highly motivating, especially when you connect personal goals with career-related ones.
If you are still struggling to get motivated in your current role, take some time to rediscover your purpose.
4. EmpathyEmpathy is the ability to recognize other people’s emotions and understand their perspectives. Goleman calls this aspect of Emotionally Intelligent “ the fundamental people skill”.
To develop empathy, start by simply thinking about other people’s viewpoints. Imagine how they may be feeling, and use active listening skills to understand them fully when they express their emotions to you.
Try not to interrupt or talk about your own feelings during the conversation. Look at their body language, it can tell you a lot about their emotions. If you watch and listen to others, you will quickly become attuned to how they feel.
5. Social Skills
Even if you are not a natural “people person” it is possible to develop better social skills.
Start by taking our quiz to see which communication skills you need to improve on. Then, find out how you can develop trust and rapport with people, this is an essential part of building good working relationship (emotionally Intelligent).
Don’t shy away from negative situations, either. Learn how to deal with conflict and other difficult situations effectively.
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